17th of January 2015

Please note: I collected these stories, they are not mine. Keep that in mind when reading and commenting :)

I tried to get a normal job after I graduated. I really tried. But I could find a regular job, and the rent must be paid. After stimulation of my partner, I decided to get some information on working as a girl in telephone sex. I got accepted and suddenly I was working in the sex industry. Of course it went from bad to worse, because I needed more money to pay for my own expenses, for my partner's expenses and for my education. I got an offer and I became a webcamgirl too.

I've seen a lot of things that I didn't ever want to see, I've accepted and listened to remarks I should never have heard. And the worst part: I can't un-listen them. They will stay in my head and in a part of my heart forever and repeat and repeat themselves. And for what? It brought me nothing but a low self-esteem and the doubt that there are 'normal' men out there who will treat you with at least enough respect to listen to a 'no'.

I've kept this a secret for several years now, mostly because I'm afraid of what other people will say. I'm afraid that my friends and family will not understand and that they will shy away from me or condemn me for the choices I have made. I don't want to hear the words 'whore' and 'slut' anymore. These terms do not describe who I am and if my friends think this about me, than they are nothing better than the men and women I pleased for money. I'm afraid to walk away from these people because I think I still need them. I am afraid to show people a side that belonged to me without it really being me, and I'm afraid that people think they know me when they really don't know a thing about my life and how I make my decisions.

When I finally confided in a few wonderful people, they helped me cut my way out of my job, gave me some money to pay the rent and took me in their arms and in their home. They accepted me for who I am, when they didn't have to, without doubts or reserves. Thanks to them I had enough room in my head to think about my future again, a future full of possibilities where there were none before, a future full of hope where all the hopes were shattered between drawers full of lingerie, and a future full of love where I was afraid true love was just an illusion.  


Today I started with a new special series: Weeks of Secrets and Memories. A while back I asked you stories, and I publish these stories now with a Notes to Ginny twist. 
These first two weeks will be about secrets you kept close and never revealed. There are wonderful stories of wonderful people who wanted to get the truth out! The last week will be a collection of memories (some good, some bad) people send me. 

I hope you like this series, and if you still want to contribute, you can send me your memory (anonymously) through the site or ask for my e-mail address. 

Lots of love,
Ginny.