Please note: I collected these stories, they are not mine. Keep that in mind when reading and commenting :)
From 3rd to 10th grade I have been bullied. People threw my books in the dumpster, they took my food, they pushed me, they made up mean nicknames for me. This made me feel worthless and alone. One day I was in the shower, and I was shaving my legs. I accidently scraped some skin, and I saw the blood drip from the wound, mixing with water and eventually was washed to the ground. I stared at it in wonder, but the weirdest part was that I didn't feel pain. It looked as if I deserved a punishment, got the punishment, and after that the pain in my heart was gone. I felt relieved, in a very unhealthy way. I had heard about auto-mutilation, and I knew it was not right to do, but it felt so good.
After that night, the scarring happened almost every week. I still have the scars to remind me, mostly on my lower arms. If I felt really bad, the cuts were deeper, if I felt quite okay the cuts were superficial or there were none at all. I managed to hide it from my family and my boyfriend. No-one knew what was going on inside my head. In 10th grade I met a couple of lovely guys and gals, and I didn't care so much about the bullying anymore. It didn't stop, but it didn't hurt that much then. One day, 2 years after it started, it stopped. Sometimes I'm still afraid it will return, and that I can't control it. But I now know I will survive, with or without the pain.
After that night, the scarring happened almost every week. I still have the scars to remind me, mostly on my lower arms. If I felt really bad, the cuts were deeper, if I felt quite okay the cuts were superficial or there were none at all. I managed to hide it from my family and my boyfriend. No-one knew what was going on inside my head. In 10th grade I met a couple of lovely guys and gals, and I didn't care so much about the bullying anymore. It didn't stop, but it didn't hurt that much then. One day, 2 years after it started, it stopped. Sometimes I'm still afraid it will return, and that I can't control it. But I now know I will survive, with or without the pain.
I started with a new special series: Weeks of Secrets and Memories. A while back I asked you stories, and I publish these stories now with a Notes to Ginny twist.
These first two weeks will be about secrets you kept close and never revealed. There are wonderful stories of wonderful people who wanted to get the truth out! The last week will be a collection of memories (some good, some bad) people send me.
I hope you like this series, and if you still want to contribute, you can send me your memory (anonymously) through the site or ask for my e-mail address.
Lots of love,
Ginny.
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