3rd of February 2015

Please note: I collected these stories, they are not mine. Keep that in mind when reading and commenting :)

We sit on the windowsill, looking at the house we just rented. We signed the contract, got the keys and now we are just sitting there, thinking about how it would look like with our stuff in it. Yesterday we had a long talk about this next step. We lived together, you broke up with me, you moved out of our house, we came back together and we decided to move to a bigger house. I asked you  if you were sure of this, it was a lot of money, and neither of us could live in this house on our own. We had to trust, we had to believe, we had to fight if we wanted to make this work. 'Yes,' you said, 'I am sure. I really love you, and I never want to leave you again. It hurt when I was without you, I felt miserable. I know that I want to be with you.'

I still had my doubts, but I decided to believe you, give you the benefit of the doubt. We started cleaning and packing boxes, we brought all the boxes to the new place. I have always found it weird: seeing your life been taken away in a couple of boxes. And now your  boxes were added to the pile. Two lives combined to one household. It was scary, it was exciting, it was full of possibilities.

A few days later we had moved all the furniture to the right places; so we had a couch, we had a bed, we had a dining table and a few chairs. We agreed to unpack some boxes today. I started around 2 p.m., you would be home around 5 p.m.. We would have the whole afternoon and evening to tidy up the biggest mess. I put on some music and started unpacking, first the plates and the mugs later some picture frames and candles. Suddenly I heard the key in the lock. I looked at the time, it was only half past 3 p.m.. I walk to the hallway, feeling blessed that you had come early. You keep your coat on, and walk to the sofa. You shake your head: 'Babe, I know what I said, but I now feel that I can't have a relationship with you. I don't want to live with you, and I don't love you.'

My heart suddenly feels very heavy, I don't know what to say. I can curse, I can yell, I can cry. But it doesn't feel okay. I just would have liked it if you had told me a week ago, and not right after signing that contract and giving up my old house. You made my life more difficult that it needed to be. I feel betrayed. I trusted you and you were not honest to me. I feel like you didn't take my needs into consideration. I feel all that, but I don't want to let you know. I feel lost, I lost my boyfriend, but I also lost the person I spend most of my time with. I don't even want to see your face right now. I just want to be alone, make my own decisions, without depending on you. ' Please don't leave me, but go. Take some clothes or stuff, I will sort out the rest. I hope we can stay in touch'.

This was not the end of our story, but it is one of the stories that surrounded our relationship. I can tell many more of these stories, but I do not intend to give you that much space in my life. You hurt me, you are one of the people who taught me that people cannot be trusted, you played with my trust and my feelings. I still don't like what happened, but it's okay. I learned, I fought, I came back stronger and I feel much better without you anywhere in my life. 

I started with a new special series: Weeks of Secrets and Memories. A while back I asked you stories, and I publish these stories now with a Notes to Ginny twist. 
These first two weeks were about secrets you kept close and never revealed. There are wonderful stories of wonderful people who wanted to get the truth out! This week will be a collection of memories (some good, some bad) people send me. 

I hope you like this series!

Lots of love,
Ginny.