28th of January 2015

Please note: I collected these stories, they are not mine. Keep that in mind when reading and commenting :)

He smiled, and I looked back at him, probably with a goofy smile on my face. I had never seen him before, but now that I see him, I can't imagine ever seeing anything else anymore. His lovely smile, his dark chocolate coloured eyes, his curly hair. A few weeks later, he asked me to dance with him on a party. I will never forget how he set all my senses on fire. His smell, his tender touch, his moves, and his amazing dancing abilities. Afterwards he asked me if he could take me to his home. I agreed.

A while later we were together in his bed, snuggling up to each other. He whispered in my ear: 'You know, you and me, it will never work. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing this, right'. At first I was a little hurt, because I didn't know why he said it. Then I thought: well, I like this. We'll see what happens next. It was a wonderful night, he really knew what he was doing and he treated me with great care. In the morning he was gone with nothing more than a kiss on my forehead. He seemed elusive. I decided I didn't care that much, I didn't want a relationship anyway. We met almost weekly after that night, and I couldn't keep my feelings under control. Being with him was so wonderful. His presence invading my mind and kicking all logic out of it. I fell head over heels for him, his remark about us still in the back of my mind.

This went on for another half year, and then I had finally picked up enough courage to say him how I felt. I didn't care anymore about what he had said, we fit together and we could make it work. I couldn't think of any reason why we couldn't be... He called me, and asked me to meet him at his place. I dressed up nice, and I rushed over there, hoping there would be a chance for me to tell him that I loved him. He hugged me when I came in, and sat me down on the sofa with a mug of hot tea. He started: ' You know that I told you we could never work, right? I realize now that I haven't been all too clear on that. I am not made for a monogamous relationship, it scares me too much. I always have a few women around me. You are one of the three I'm seeing now. I really, really like you, but it would be doomed to fail if I told you we could be together in a normal relationship. I get that you are upset. Would you please consider continuing the relationship like we have now?' I looked at him, still not able to resist his seductive look. ' Of course', I stammered.

And since that moment, several years ago, I never dared to open up a conversation about how I feel.  It won't make a difference, he will never be able to give me what I really want. What we have now is good enough, but I still hope for more every time I see him leave the bed. 

I started with a new special series: Weeks of Secrets and Memories. A while back I asked you stories, and I publish these stories now with a Notes to Ginny twist. 
These first two weeks will be about secrets you kept close and never revealed. There are wonderful stories of wonderful people who wanted to get the truth out! The last week will be a collection of memories (some good, some bad) people send me. 

I hope you like this series, and if you still want to contribute, you can send me your memory (anonymously) through the site or ask for my e-mail address. 

Lots of love,
Ginny.